Wow. It has been a while since I’ve updated this page–almost a year ago!
Sadly, it was all in due of my missing muse. Seems as though she had ran away from all the chaos happening at work and other parts of my life. I don’t blame her. The progress of my first full-length manuscript for a novel came to an abrupt stop. I have a feeling why she left, but I will get into that below.
Anyhow, she peeked her head in today and it looks as if we are well on our way to a new relationship.
I have been struggling the last several months with being able to organize my scattered brain. Then all of a sudden, my brain just shut off–my pen would just hover over my notebook paper, nothing but ghost words being written on the blue lines; or I would be left drooling rabidly at a blank MS document all night before bed.
I couldn’t even pick up a book to read because I was so angry with myself that I hadn’t written anything in so long. I was seriously beginning to wonder if my mind had actually picked itself up, sick of my crap, and ran for the hills.
Previously, after working long hours at work, my mind was bursting at the seams with ideas as they accumulated by the minute, absolutely overflowing and waiting to be jotted down. My mind has always worked like that, even as a child; but, life was easy then, right? Plenty of time to diddle-daddle all day long. *grumbles*
Well, it all just built up the longer the work day and by the time I had a day off to finally have an opportunity to sift through my ideas, everything came pouring out–like a volcano of alphabet and pictures vomiting all over my desk! *pouts* And if I had successfully reined in one thought from a cluster of other thoughts, more ideas spawned from that one. So down goes the pen, off goes the computer and into bed and Netflix I go. *falls over*
Drove me absolutely batty! Damn bunnies.
It’s a constant battle between what I want to focus on and what else I want to get into. However, lately, I have been close to finishing up organizing every
important thought and idea onto paper; outlines, notes, sketches–leaving me with very little to fuss over. Today, something beautiful happened. I printed out the final details of my paranormal adventure I’ve been working on the last couple years and on the drive home from work and all the way into the shower, my characters spoke to me–and they would not shut up.
I rinsed my hair as fast as I could and just about skipped the towels as I broke out of the bathroom and fled to my desk to transcript every word before they escaped me yet again. My little fingers were flying all over they keyboard, and before I knew it. I finally had . . . my . . . first . . . CHAPTER WRITTEN! The chapter opening for this damned book that has been cycling through EIGHT ideas before my finally giving up. It’s done! Afinado!
Now, before I get too excited and get stuck writing the second chapter, and this book takes me thirty more years to write (I can’t imagine the trouble with my concentration now being magnified, I don’t even want to think what it would be like going menopausal *shudders*) . . . there goes my ADD again. *coughs* But as I said, before I get too carried away thinking my Muse is here to stay, I have more kinks to work out to the final touch of the outline of the overall story and all I ask is a small favor–for you to send good thoughts my way! Maybe even stop by and poke me and remind me; motivate me to keep going, because on top of all that other lunatic babel above, I still have my doubts clouding my motivation and I know we all have been there before.
If there is one dream I want to accomplish more than anything else I have ever dreamt, it is that I will have at least one published full-length novel to share with the world! I think that’s what hurts the most with this mess, when my mind off and runs away without bringing me along for the ride while she has all the fun, leaving me in the dust with nothing to write about!
I also had a few more musing for previous mentions of other novels I am working on. I am pleased to say that the characters from my; contemporary romance, my crime/thriller, and New Adult novels, are also in their final stages of outlining and a chapter or so have been written in them. Pretty soon, I will need beta readers, and I would love and appreciate all honest feedback! I will post more when the times comes. In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed for me that my motivation and clarity stick around for a while! *snickers*